WHY ?

Why do I keep pursuing the dream of having a creative career making beautiful things that tell stories of faith, hope and love? 

Well, why do anything? 

Because I was created to be creative. 

I can't help it.  It's the way I am made. God and I have had many talks about this.  God's gifts come with complications and I am not the first creative person to know this truth. 

I can see in my head how several things could be combined and made into another thing (assemblage).

I enjoy all of the creative outlets I have tried over the past decade of playing with materials.  Felting, fibers, sewing, painting - it is all fun. 

I enjoy having options. I enjoy trying an idea in one medium, and if it doesn't work, I can change to a different medium.  Some ideas work better in paint, some in felt, some in assemblage. 

Having options is also a highly-developed trauma response based in the need to be in control (or at least have the illusion of control). 

When I was young, which was a long time ago in a far, far away place, I never seemed to have enough creative materials or creative mentors to guide and develop my skills. 

I am making up for that today.  It's is as if, the 12 year old version of me living inside my brain, has set me on a mission to make sure that on any given day, all that she needs to explore creativity will be on hand.  

It's not enough to have crayons and coloring books anymore. 

I have to have the needle felting materials and books. 

The paints: oil, acrylic, water color. 

The multiple palettes, the special tools for palette knife painting. 

The antique wardrobe is stuffed with assemblage materials, affectionately called "Art Junk"! 

There are at least 3 large plastic totes in the attic full of fabric and God only knows what. 

I think I have become a craft hoarder.  

Maybe, just maybe, I might consider letting some of this craft stuff go?  Maybe letting go of some things might free up emotional and spiritual energy for more creativity?  

Hm. Something to think about.